Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Paper vs. Plastic: the ultimate showdown

Paper grocery bags. Don't you love them? The sit there in the store, waiting to be used, not worrying that less people prefer them. They don't have to prove that they're better than the plastic ones, they just know it. Here's a list of reasons why paper bags know could have a big ego.

1. They don't fall apart as easily. Every time that someone walks out of the store with a plastic bag, the paper bags look at them with smirks on their faces. Don't they know that as soon as they get out to the parking lot, the plastic is going to stretch and break and spill their goods all over the place? If you're ever in line behind a person who leaves with plastic bags, listen carefully. You'll probably hear the rustling of the paper bags laughing.

2. They store much more neatly. Have you ever seen a large number of plastic bags stored neatly together? Well neither have the paper bags. Whilst the paper will fold up nicely and stack, the best the plastic ones can do is get crammed into a container and try not to spill all over the place. Paper are upstanding citizens while plastic is an unruly mob.

3. They are less flashy. Have you ever seen a paper bag and said to yourself, "now that is a vibrant set of colors"? Of course not! On the other hand, this happens quite often with plastic bags. See, the plastic ones are trying to compensate for all of their shortcomings. You see it with people and you see it with bags.

4. They hold their shape better. No matter what gets put into them, you can always tell that a paper bag was made in the shape of a rectangular solid. Plastic bags on the other hand....I think they were designed after an amoeba giving birth and don't even hold that shape. Paper bags stand for something, plastic bags just conform.

This is why paper bags have higher esteem than plastic ones and so offer better services.


  1. So true! Love this! Just one question: where do reusable cloth bags fall in this discussion?

  2. They know that they're better and flaunt it just a bit, but hey, they're entitled.