Friday, August 19, 2011

From Bad to Worse

Being back at college is great. It’s so good to actually be doing something constructive again as far as my education concerns. And as much as some people hate college, I love most of it: everything besides the classes, the studying, paying the bills, living away from home, having to get up early again and riding the blasted bus system. Other than that, it’s great. But I know that you aren’t reading this blog because you’re actually interested in me, so I’ll get on to the interesting part.

So I was two classes into my second year at college. The sun was shining (which wasn’t necessarily a good thing since it made the temperature like a million degrees) and I had an hour in between classes to burn. (As I mentioned before, the heat of the sun meant that had I obtained a magnifying glass, this would have been an easy task; I did not, however, have one of these on my person) Since I have no life, I spent this hour sitting on a bench studying calculus. The sun was making me sleepy, and I couldn’t concentrate on what I was reading, and just when I was about to pass out or kill myself (both were viable options in my mind) a girl walked up and asked if she could sit on my bench since it was the only one in the shade. I told that she could and she proceeded to sit down and talk on her cell phone. What follows is my “experience” overhearing her conversation.

GIRL: Do you mind if I smoke? (you may find this question amusing if you know what cigarette smoke does to my respiratory system)

ME: Go ahead. (I figured that since she had been nice enough to ask, she would also blow the smoke the other way. She was polite and did so)

At this point I started to overhear her conversation, not because I am nosey but because she was taking so bleeding loud.

GIRL: So, have you done any community service hours yet?

This caught my attention because I am currently watching a show that focuses on juvenile delinquents who are doing community service as a punishment for their crimes.

GIRL: You should do your hours because if you do, when you talk to your probation officer, all that you have to pay is $10. There’s no probation fee.

She said this with authority as if she knew from first-hand experience.

GIRL: When you do your hours, don’t do Habitat for humanity. That’s what I did for mine and it’s terrible.

So that’s how she knew so much.

GIRL: Can’t Greg (?) sign off on your hours? Oh, can he not because yours was a felony?

At this point I’m thinking that this girl has one gem of a friend, but wait! It gets better, believe it or not! There were a few more sentences said that I don’t remember before the next one of interest. In relation to sending letters, she said:

GIRL: You put your address in the top corner and their address in the center. I only know because you sent me one when you were in jail.

And if things couldn’t get any worse, it appears that the person on the other end of the line had been in the slammer for illegal drug possession. Of course, the real kicker to all of this is that it was said on my college campus within five feet of me.

So, let’s hit the highlights of the conversation again. Not only did the person on the other end go from community service to having been jailed for illegal drugs, there were also the finer points of interest. Like how the girl on my bench barely knew how to address a letter and she was in college! Or that she had a friend like the one she was talking to. Or the fact that she was talking so blasted loud about such things within five feet of another person. All that I can conclude from this is that clearly just because you are going to college does not make you any smarter than anyone else. Or smart at all for that matter.

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